Want to know how to ask a girl out over text? What to say? When to say it? And how to ask a girl for a date, in a way that increases your chances of her saying “YES!” Then don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here’s our top templates and suggestions to help you along the way. So let’s jump straight in…
How To Ask Someone Out Over Text
When it comes to how to ask someone out over text, here’s some top pointers to get you started…
1) Time It Right
Timing is important. Ask too soon and it looks like you’re just going for a numbers game. Leave it too long and she’ll think you’re not interested.
The sweet spot to ask someone out is when you’ve had enough time to get to know each other, but want to take it to the next level by meeting up in real life.
As a guide, you want to ask someone out within the first week of messaging, if you’re messaging consistently.
In terms of timings then, with when you ask her out within the conversation, you kind of want to set it up. Set up the conversation for the question – build up to it, by a string of lighthearted texts before.
I’ll give some examples and templates very shortly, but essentially you want the conversation to flow and a good “vibe” to be there, before you “pop the question!” It comes across more natural that way.
2) Keep It Casual
When you do ask someone out over text, make sure you keep it pretty casual.
This isn’t a big deal, or a big thing. Especially for the first time of meeting someone. The first date is really a case of sussing each other out more than anything – seeing how well you click and what’s potentially there.
So you kind of want to just drop it in into conversation. No pressure, no expectations. Just a light friendly suggestion to meet up. When you ask a girl out that way, she’s far more likely to say yes.
3) Make It Personal
If you’re asking a girl out over text, there’s even more reason to make it personal. The last thing you want is her thinking this is just a “copy and paste job” – the standard line you say to everyone. So the best way to avoid this, is to find a first date idea that she’ll like.
So let’s say you’ve been chatting about your shared love of food. How about finding a cute quirky coffee shop to grab a sweet treat at? Or maybe you’re into the same music. Why not find a local band that’s playing on the weekend and suggest going along?
She’ll appreciate the effort, and it shows you are interested. Of course, you don’t need to go too OTT with it.
“Babe, I present you, a horse and carriage ride… as I know you love ponies!
No, no, no. Too much. Too far! But suggesting a date you know she’ll like, will certainly also increase your chances of her being down for it. And it will make your date – when it happens – a little different to the rest.
4) Have Good Energy
The way you ask someone out over text is pretty important. I mean, text as a whole, is harder to perceive. You can’t always get your personality across… but you have to try!
So when you suggest going out, look at how you’re typing it. Look at what you’re saying and how it looks like you’re saying it. For instance, there’s a big difference between:
“We can go for a drink if you want?”
“Awesome. What you doing this weekend? Fancy going out for a drink… or two? My shout! 🍺🍷😎”
Emojis are always handy for getting across energy / emotion, providing they’re not overused. You also still want to be yourself and type how you’d usually type. Just make sure you’re showing interest and enthusiasm when speaking. Because, there’s playing it cool and being down-right dull!
5) Be Specific
The last tip for now, when it comes to how to ask someone out on text, is to be specific. The biggest mistake you can make when asking someone out is to vaguely suggest meeting up “soon” or “sometime.”
You want to come across as sure and assertive, not feeble or “wishy washy” – what’s attractive about that?
So if you’re going to ask a girl out on a date, know when and what. You don’t have to necessarily tie it down to one set date. In fact, within a timeframe is actually best. So we’re talking…
- Sometime this week.
- This weekend.
- Next weekend.
That’s what you want. Then when she says when in that timeframe, you can nail down the day and time.
Is It Ok To Ask Someone Out Over Text?
So we’ve started to go through the basics of how to ask a girl out over text. Awesome. But you now may be wondering, is it ok to ask someone out over text? Well in short… yes, absolutely!
Because sure, maybe it’s not quite so romantic, and perhaps you prefer for things to be more organic, but these days, most people meet on dating apps.
What that means? You first connect online and so asking a girl out over text is usually the go-to-thing.
Yes you could vouch to ask when speaking over the phone instead. This is a good option too. But whichever you do, know that it’s absolutely fine. It’s actually more about how you ask and asking over text gives you more control over that.
How To Ask a Girl Out Over Text [Top 10 Templates]
So now we’ve got the basics out the way, let’s look at some key templates to make it easier. Here’s 7 starting suggestions to get you thinking. These should be a base, a bit of a brainstorm – something to go off. Have a read, see which approaches you like best, then drop them into your conversations, tweaking them to make them your own.
1) “Let’s Do It”
So the first way to ask a girl out over text, is to build up to it by talking about something in particular. So for example, let’s say you know you want to ask her out to a live music night. You may want to approach it like this.
The conversation has just been about music – which artists you like, who you’ve seen live, what gigs you’ve been to.
You say: I heard VENUE NAME does some pretty good live music nights actually. You ever been?
She says: No I haven’t actually. Sounds good though. Will have to check it out!
You say: Yes, do it! Why don’t we go together? You free this weekend? Fancy a night out? 😉
2) Straight To The Point
You could also go for a “straight to the point” approach when asking a girl out over text.
So let’s say you’ve been chatting for a few days, the conversation is still in strong flow. You seem to be connecting and have a lot in common. At this point, you could then just come straight out with it…
You say [in response to something she’s said]: You know what, I really rate that. You’re a pretty cool girl, aren’t you.
She says [something jokey back in most cases]: Why thank you. I guess you could say that 😉
You say: Do you fancy going for a drink next week? Texting is great and everything, but you can’t quite beat getting to know someone in person. First rounds on me 😉
Notice how we also add the jokey little comment on the end there, to soften it. Remember, it’s all about how you come across!
3) Lead From a Complement
If you think she’s a catch, let her know it! Not every moment of every day. That’s too much. It seems disingenuous. But when you do them complement her, it’s the perfect chance to also ask her out. Here’s a few example lines:
- Wow, you really are beautiful inside and out, hey. I know you must get asked this a lot, but I’d love to take you out for a few drinks sometime. Maybe next weekend if you’re around?
- Damn, you’re just something else! What’s my chances of bagging a date with you then, hey? 😉 Next week? I’ll choose the bar. You just bring yourself. Deal?
- Okay, there’s no way we can match and not meet! Let’s go for a drink? Maybe next week? I know I am 100% punching… 🔥 but I’m good company. That’s got to count for something, right? 😉
4) A Little Surprise
If you want to ask a girl out over text and drop it in as a bit of a surprise, this can also work well – especially when you feel close to her and you know it’s what she’ll like. So for instance:
Let’s say you stayed up into the early hours of the morning chatting the night before. You feel feel something there. The following day you then text (and text first, it will be nice for her to wake up to)…
“Morning beautiful. Loved chatting to you last night. So… cocktails this weekend? You keen?”
5) Leave It With Her
On the flip side, you may like to get her going to bed at night with a smile on her face.
So again, you’ve spent the whole night talking, you’re really clicking. In your last message you just drop in the invite:
“Night gorgeous. Sleep well. P.S. Next week, I’m taking you out. Deal? ;)”
6) Keep It Light
Now a lot of these are talking best-case-scenario, when the two of you are going great. This creates more options for how to ask someone out over text… and you’re likely to feel more confident doing it because you feel like you know her a little more and the interest seems to be there.
But what if you’re speaking to someone and there’s been less chat? You’re interested, you’d like to meet her, but you can’t seem to get the conversation to the point you want. How do you ask her then? Well, you’ve just got to go for it – no holding back. But drop it in even more lightly. So for example, some good lines to try:
- Do you want to just grab a drink sometime next week? May be easier (and less tedious!) than messaging back and forth on here. How about Friday? I can come your way.
- So I’m not one to let opportunities slip 😉 fancy grabbing a drink next week? I know we’ve not chat much just yet, but you’re definitely someone I think I’d like to get to know more. Are you in or are you in? [Something personal also included in here would be beneficial, so she knows it’s not just a copy and paste line.]
- Shall we just cut out the small talk and jump straight to a date? 😉 Let me take you out! Next week?
Just a note here, whatever you do, whether she’s not replied to your last message or not, do not dig. If you want to ask her out, if you want this to stand a shot, even if you’re feeling a little sting of rejection, don’t let that come across.
Also remember: the relationship may feel unbalanced now, with you more interested than her… but once she meets you, if things healthily progress, all of that will change. So if you see potential with this person, let that ego go and give it a shot! You have nothing to lose when you actually think about it!
7) Ask As If She’s Answered
Are you feeling more confident about how to ask a girl out over text? By this point, the ideas should be flowing! But I think there’s room for just one more, which is to ask as if she’s answered. Say whaaaat.
Essentially, a kind of cheeky, charming way to ask a girl for a date is to say something like:
So when we going for drinks? 😉
You’re asking as if she’s already agreed to them, keeping it nice and light. You can then organise the details from there.
Have Confidence, Not Doubt
So there’s how to ask a girl out over text. You’ve got your top hints and tips, a few templates to get you started, and – hopefully – a far better understanding of how to go into it.
Good luck. Don’t be worried. Remember, you really do have nothing to lose. If she says no, it’s not on you. It’s just one of those things. But if she says yes… well who knows where it will go!
The one thing I would say, is to be fairly selective about who you choose to ask out. Avoid dating burnout and put your time into the people who most excite you, interest you, or have genuine potential.