So you want to know how to create sexual tension? How to build sexual tension? Especially when it comes to women? Well you’ve come to the right place.
See, sexual tension is important in romantic relationships. It’s what gets you out of the friend-zone! The thing is, men naturally have a higher sex drive. They also have a simpler one too. Here, this study is pretty fascinating if you want to understand it more.
Essentially, what turns women on, is quite different – not just different to men, but it also varies from woman to woman. And it seems… we’re generally a little harder to please!
Regardless of this, there are still things you can do to build sexual tension with women. Generally speaking, of course. So don’t give up! Here’s what you need to do…
How To Build Sexual Tension With Women
When it comes to how to build sexual tension, there’s some key things well worth noting. Follow these nine naughty steps as a starting point and watch the chemistry grow.
1) Get A Little Flirty
So first up, it’s a no brainer, right? To build sexual tension, you want to be a little flirty. Unsure about your flirting ability? Then pause right there for a moment, click on here and take the test! This post features a flirting quiz, plus some top flirting tips. Our flirting tips include things like:
- Drawing attention to your lips.
- Having some strong eye contact.
- Working on your body language.
- Paying complements.
- Using words wisely.
- Smiling more. (Yes, smiling is hot!)
But you need that. It creates sexual chemistry, which is the core foundation for sexual frustration to build.
So first tip, swat up on flirting. And have fun and confidence with it! This leads me onto my next point…
2) Be Confident
The best thing to be, when it comes to women, is confident. This doesn’t mean you have to be the loudest person in the room, and we certainly don’t want arrogance. But be sure of yourself. Know who you are. And also know what you want.
Set your intention right from the start. Make it clear that you’re romantically interested in her. Get the right “vibe” in place right from the beginning. Because that’s what makes it grow, instead of fizzle.
Also try not to just come across as confident, but feel confident. Remember, you’ve got a lot to offer. You’re a catch. And if you want this girl – providing she’s actually the right person for you – you can be with her. I promise.
3) Keep Her Guessing
So you want to be confident, you want to make it clear right from the start, what you’re looking for her. However, (and this is a big however!) you still have to keep a bit of mystery. And no – this isn’t about game playing. Not at all.
You’re not playing with her feelings or messing her around. You genuinely feel something with this girl and you think she feels it too, so you want to only add to the excitement.
You want to make her feel like she knows how you feel… but she doesn’t quite know what will happen next.
It adds a bit of thrill. It’s what things should be like in these exciting, early dating stages. Building on from this point a little more then…
4) Don’t Make It Too Easy
Sexual tension itself is when two people desire each other sexually, but the actually “act” itself doesn’t happen.
For this reason, if she thinks you just want to sleep with her, if she thinks she could snap her fingers and BANG, you could be having sex, it kind of kills the thrill… and takes away the sexual tension itself.
This is a really key point. Read it again.
So you want her to know you’re into her, you want her to feel that you want her (uh huh, you don’t even need to say the words), but you don’t want to always make the first move or “act.”
Remember, if she wants to: she’ll do this. It doesn’t have to always come from you. And actually, it only adds to the appeal when it doesn’t – when she can take control, but she knows you want her to.
So you still want to flirt, you still want to get close to her, and we’re not saying you can’t initiate things at all. But allow her to have a bit of fun with the chase. (Only it’s a safe chase, because she’s sure of you and can feel you’re into her too!)
5) Create “Moments” With Eye Contact
Next up, we’ve got the eye contact! And eye contact is like your side-kick when it comes to how to build sexual tension. See, it’s a non-verbal form of flirting and it’s super effective… it’s easy too, when you have the confidence, courage and a natural spark between the two of you.
All you have to do is focus on getting eye contact or, more importantly, keeping that eye contact when it’s there.
You know when you have a moment? Your eyes lock? Hold this. Don’t look away. If anything, lean closer. Strengthen it. Ignite it. This leads me onto my next point…
SCREEEETCH. Hold up. One sec. Here I also feel like I should mention – don’t go too intense. She doesn’t want to feel like you’re baring a hole into her brain by staring her out. You also shouldn’t be staring straight at her, every time she glances up. Go for cool, not creepy. Use this one with one with caution!
6) Reduce The Distance
Another great way to get the chemistry right, is to reduce the distance. Sit a little closer. Not so much that she feels uncomfortable or you’re invading her personal space – read her body language to get this right.
But don’t have it like a meeting… go out and make it intimate, get closer. It is after all, a date.
You also want to combine this with physical contact here and there, too. Seizing the moment and all that! We’re not talking anything too intrusive. Just a hand touch here and there. In fact, let’s explore that further…
7) Add Physical Touch
So when it comes to using physical touch to build sexual tension, less is often more. So for example:
- Let’s say you’re on a first date. It went well. You feel something there. Give her a kiss on the cheek as you leave and let your hand linger on her arm after a hug.
- Or you’re on a date and you’re looking at a menu – scooch a little closer to her so that your legs are brushing each others, then look up and lock eyes with her, when the two of you are just centimetres away. Don’t move in for a kiss, just hold it there before moving back and smiling.
- Or maybe you’re onto “Netflix and chill”. There’s a scary bit so you gently touch the bottom of her thigh, just to the side and above the knee. However, when doing this, always be a gentleman. If you put your hand there, say “Sorry, is this okay?” Just check.
These are just a few examples. But it’s that subtle touch, combined with that eye contact. It’s the closeness. It builds intimacy. Also base your actions on how she is. Mimic what she’s doing with you. Respond to her body language accordingly.
8) Make Her Feel Good
As time goes on and the chemistry grows, you can start to build it up by using complements. Complements are always pretty nice, at any stage. They should always be genuine and real too. But when it comes to sexual tension, you can start to step it up a notch.
Tell her she’s hot, tell her she’s sexy, tell her that you want her, that she drives you crazy. But don’t do it on text. Do it in person. And only when the times right. Like when you’re having a “moment” – those locked eyes we were talking about, that close contact, in between / after a kiss even.
Time it right. Make her feel good. Make her feel like a truly irresistible woman.
9) Take It Slow
So it’s building up, it’s building up. The sexual tension is there… and if you want to keep it there, you can’t blow it straight away. You can’t have sex!! But actually, taking it slow is a good thing. Especially if you genuinely like this girl.
I mean, if you didn’t, would you really be here, googling “how to build sexual tension”? No! You’d probably go for something like “how to get laid!”
So if you see something there with this girl, show her. Be different to everyone else. Even if you have the opportunity to progress it further… Surprise her by not wanting to do it straight away. Start things differently. Treat her with pure and utter respect. Treat her like the queen she is, even!
And yeah, she may be just as ready to sleep with you too. There’s no set time frame that you have to wait.
But when it comes to building sexual tension – the key is to not do it straight away, at the first opportunity. The key is to actually leave her wanting more.
And when you do this, the wait is oh so worth it. Because by the time you get to that point, your bond has grown even more.
What If You Have Slept Together?
If you have slept together, you can still build sexual tension with a woman by following all of the other steps. I’ll write a separate post on that one – to help you keep the spark alive, or reignite it (for those in a relationship.) But for the purpose of this post, it’s all about building it up to that. And then making sure things continue to progress in the right way from there!
Newsflash: We Don’t Need The Dick Pics
So there we have it – how to create sexual tension.
Notice with all of these tips, you’re not building sexual tension by sending dick-pics and you’re certainly not asking for anything back. You’re also not overly sexualising your conversation, turning everything into dirty talk.
See if you want to build sexual tension with women the smart way, the more sophisticated way – then this is a far more refreshing and enticing approach.
So be original guys. You’ve got far more charm and appeal in there than maybe you even know. Unleash it. Seduce these women in ways that they may not even know!
And have fun with it. Hopefully this is the start of something truly special.
Good luck! For more dating tips, browse our top posts here.